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There is a sound bite going around right now that asks what you hear, "Laurel or Yanny", two completely different words that sound nothing alike. You hear it so clearly that it's unbelievable how anyone can hear anything different. I thought this is such a good metaphor for life. You know what I'm talking about...when someone is telling a story "all wrong". You know how it went because you were there too. And you just can't believe they remember it so "wrong". Is it wrong? Or are you wrong? The truth is, both are probably right. But how can that be? For one thing, there are so many bytes of information constantly downloading that our brains can't process everything. It has to filter a bunch of it out and different brains will filter different information. A great example of this is when you are thinking about buying a particular car. Suddenly you see that car everywhere! Why? They've always been there, but now you are filtering for it. It does this based on our priorities, life experiences, beliefs, expectations, etc. All of this shapes how we filter and process information. This is useful to keep in mind when dealing with people, either in general in everyday life or in our relationships. When you have difficulty agreeing on even the simplest things, keep in mind that you really are seeing it differently. Instead of getting frustrated and calling them crazy, or arguing, insisting they see it your way, it's worthwhile to find out more about how they are seeing it and seek to understand their perspective. It can relieve some stress on the relationship and you might learn something in the process!  |
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