We all have stuff about our lives that we don't love.  It's probably really easy for you to come up with a list of all the stuff you'd like to change.  Maybe even your conversations are dominated by all the stuff you are dissatisfied with.

This is the nature of being human.  Constantly growing and evolving and striving for something different, something better.  So if change is part of our natural process, why does it seem so difficult sometimes to make those changes?  To change the things we say we don't like about ourselves or our lives? We feel stuck.

This is when clients come to me, when they are feeling stuck.  Stuck in a situation they have tried and tried to change but just can't seem to make it happen.  Or they make a little progress and then nothing.

After hearing about their situation, my first question is always, "What do you want instead?"  99.9% of the time the answer is, "Well I don't want this" or "I don't want to feel this way".  Asking again, "So what do you want instead?"  I'm usually met with a blank stare.  Can you see the problem here?  If you don't even know what it is you want, how can you change it?  We need a clear direction to move in.  Without it, we will always stay in the same place or be forced to move in a direction we don't want to go.

So, what do YOU want?  If you didn't have the stress, anxiety, extra weight, health issues, etc. what would you have instead?  And be careful here... simply saying "I want less stress" or "less" anything doesn't cut it.  If, on a scale of 1-10 your stress is a 10, by saying you want less stress can mean a 9.  Why not have no stress?  Maybe you feel it's not possible or out of your control.  That's a whole other topic we'll visit another day.  For today, instead of stressed, how about peace, calm, or total sense of well-being?  Notice how different you might feel even thinking this way.  Try it "I would like to feel a sense of peace in my mind and body" and...breathe....

Whatever it is you are wanting to change, this is the first step to moving you in the direction you want to go...knowing where it is you want to go.

So what do YOU want?

So, we’re a month in, how are those New Year Resolutions going?  Given up yet? Or going strong?  If your going strong, congratulations!  Keep doing what you’re doing.
For the rest of you that are struggling or have given up altogether, don’t get down on yourself.  You are not completely hopeless or a total failure.  I’ve heard it said that “there is no such thing as failure, you just found the answer to a different problem and have to keep looking for the answer to THIS problem”.

In working with many different people on lots of different issues, I've found one common factor, and that is that many people actually just don’t know  how to get started on something they say they want. I’ve bumped up against this hurdle myself so I completely understand how paralyzing and frustrating it can be. So I want to share with you the very first step you must take in order to successfully reach your goal.

Answer this question… What is it that you want?  Sounds obvious, right? But people tend to be very general when thinking about their goals. Let’s use the example of exercise since this tends to be a popular one.  You might say, “I need to start exercising” or “exercise more”.  This is a very broad, general statement.  It can mean A LOT of different things.  And it’s important to get very specific in what YOU personally mean by “exercising”.

Here’s what I mean…
What does more exercise mean to you?
How often? 3 days a week? 5 days a week?
What kind of exercise? Serious, intentional exercise? picking up a sport? or parking farther away and taking the stairs?
How much time per session are you willing to commit to?  
Where would you be doing the exercise?
When/what time of day would you be doing it?
Who else would be there? or are you doing it by yourself?

When you take the time to consider each of these questions, your vision starts becoming a little more clear.

So here is my challenge to you right now… when thinking of your specific goal, take a couple of minutes and answer these questions.  You can modify them to fit whatever your goal is…whether it’s be healthier, spend more time with kids or spouse, or taking more time for yourself, weight-loss, etc.  Whatever your goal is, get very clear and detailed on what exactly that looks like for YOU.  And now that you have the clarity of what you want to do, it’s much easier to actually get started and stick with it.

If after doing this you still have trouble, get support.  I help people discover what's holding them back from doing what they say they want to do and offer a free consultation to see how I can help you.  I believe it's possible for you.

You've Got This!!!

It’s the time of year that we start thinking about New Year’s Resolutions… creating new behaviors or giving up old ones that we believe aren't good for us.  For many of us, it has to do with our health.  Either physical health, such as losing weight, making exercise a bigger part of our lives or just having a healthier lifestyle in general.  Or mental and emotional health… having less stress and anxiety in our lives.

The thing about New Year’s Resolutions is that, while the intention behind them is great, they are often forgotten just a few weeks in. We lose motivation and just give up. Meanwhile, nothing changes.  We hang on to that excess weight, our healthy lifestyle never really materializes and we are just as stressed out and anxious as ever, continuing the cycle of  frustration, feeling bad about ourselves, maybe even feeling hopeless.

But there is hope!  The problem is we often try to succeed using pure motivation.  Motivation alone will only get you so far.  "What else is there?", you might be asking. A strong connection. Connecting to your goals,  getting really clear and specific on why you want to do it and what your life would look like if you did achieve it, greatly improve your chances of success.

I specialize in helping people reach their desired outcomes.  Helping you understand your “why” and see your future as if it’s already happening for you, identifying and clearing any roadblocks that come up along the way that may be preventing you from achieving your goal.

Ask yourself, “Where will I be 1 year from now if I continue doing things the same way?” What will it cost you physically, emotionally and mentally?

Why not enhance the chances of your success this year by having a support system in place that is totally focused on you, getting you more of what you want in your life.  Imaging what it would be like to finally make that New Year’s Resolution a way of life.  I believe it is possible for you.